From Zero to Hero (you'd better take it from a geek like me)

It’s Time For an Update!

badbanana07 — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 18:14:48 +0000

Don’t have a ton of time so I’ll have to keep this short. Saying that a lot’s changed in the past few months would be a severe understatement. As the whole world knows by now, on April 15, 2011, Americans lost their freedom and right to play online poker. My thoughts on it are pretty much what you’d expect from someone who played for a living on the internet: mostly shock at first, disdain, severe contempt and disgust at the government/authorities behind Black Friday, confusion, search for progress and what lies ahead.

Thankfully it has been a surprisingly successful/beneficial turn of events. I began playing live at C-town regularly and have enjoyed similar consistency in my results there, and recently began venturing to AC on the weekends to play in the bigger games. There are some drastic differences in these live games vs my online games that I have been consciously making myself aware of and making sure I properly adjust. I consider it a learning experience for now, so while I have been doing pretty well, I definitely have a ton of room for improvement. Sometimes it does feel like a nice break from my days of playing behind the monitors (especially when you go through a death run), other times the monotony and general snails pace irritates me a bit. I have no reason to complain though as I consider myself extremely fortunate to be able to continue playing full-time. I see a ton of potential down the road, so hopefully things continue to do well.

In other news, Yen and I finally moved out of our apartment and into our dream home It’s been a long-term, major goal for both of us for the last couple of years, and now that we’ve finally done it it feels amazing. We’re still settling in, and it’ll take us some time to furnish/decorate it and make it our own…but that’s the fun part of being new homeowners I suppose. We have a ton in store for us and we look forward to every bit of it!

My Parents; Random Reflections

badbanana07 — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 00:07:50 +0000

So 2011 has been a slow/sluggish/rough start to the year, which puts a bit of a damper on my mood these days. Not much to say about it that hasn’t been said in the past so I won’t delve into too much detail besides that it’s been frustrating. Interestingly enough, I re-read my past blog entries from around this time of year for the past couple of years and noticed a trend of starting off years slow. For whatever reason, variance has decided to play tricks on me around this time for the duration of my online career. Not to say that when a certain day arrives it’ll be like clockwork and things return to normal, but for now, that’s just what I’ve observed. I’m trying to stay focused and positive and play through the nonsense as much as I can, and that’s all I can do at this point is to hang tough and know that things will eventually turn around as long as I stick to the game plan. The long term seems so much longer when things aren’t going as well as when you’re on the upswing; being one of the most consistent players in the online world has somewhat spoiled my expectations into thinking I should be winning every statistically favored hand, every day, every week, and every month. It’s just not going to happen in this business. Sometimes after a down period is over and things are good again I look back and think about how silly I was to worry, and look at my lifetime graph…usually that down period is hardly noticeable in the grand scheme of things. It’s important to take the time to reflect and put some perspective on these kinds of things.
However, it does not imply that I can just kick back and expect things to go my way without trying to actively work on my game and troubleshoot my weak areas. This isn’t my worst stretch by any means, nor is it the most psychologically wearing. I just want to be as candid as possible with myself and my possible readers on what’s going on in my career. I found that reading my older entries is actually kind of rewarding and fun, documenting my progress along the way, the steps I had to take to reach the point where I am now. I look ahead to better days with a serene optimism and thank anyone who has listened to me vent about rough days in the office (especially Danny, Doug, Sean). I really appreciate their support and it means a great deal to have friends of that caliber.
Once upon a time in early 2008 I had to hide the fact that I played poker from my parents. I still remember vividly the days when I would secretly grind $1/2 in my parents’ basement after they had gone to bed (around 11 PM) until the wee hours of the morning, only to be exhausted and sleeping in all next day. It was unhealthy and reminiscent of my nocturnal days in college, when I would go to sleep as the sun is rising, but it was also the only choice I had at the time. These days, I have absolutely nothing to hide from my parents, and has since been like a 50 ton weight lifted off my shoulders and my heart. I have been upfront with them about my latest rough patch, and they have offered me nothing but love and support, being the amazingly wonderful people they always have been my entire life. I really cannot express how much they mean to me. They are the ultimate anchors in my world, genuinely always looking out for my best interest, regardless of how much they would potentially have to compromise or sacrifice…I guess that’s what true unconditional love is. All those years they put up with my nonsense and immaturity while growing up are only starting to sink in now that I’m older and (hopefully) much more mature. My dad said something simple but touched my heart yesterday over dinner and the Lakers-Celtics game on TV: “Son, don’t worry so much. You’ll get through it, just be patient…things will be better again. We always love you no matter what.”
Even typing this up is getting me a little watery eyed. True unconditional love. So many times in the past I have failed, disappointed, lied to, deceived, and hurt my parents. I never deserved any of their love and forgiveness but here we are. They still take me back with open arms and warm smiles because that’s who they are. One day when I have children I will be sure to carry on this kind of unselfishness. Lao ma and lao ba, I love you both forever and always. They deserve everything but want nothing from me other than to see me happy. I really couldn’t have asked for better parents. So the next time I go through a tough stretch like I’m having now, or inevitably lose another hand where I was supposed to win, I will try to recall my dad’s calming voice in my head, and the fact that I have them both in my life.
I’ve got to also add that my amazing wife Yen has been the other stable anchor in my life, always offering encouragement and looking for ways to cheer me up. I’m writing this coming off yet another unbelievably disappointing and frustrating session, but I can’t wait to pick her up and spend some time with her at night. It’s times like these that make me appreciate even more the people who care in my life.

2011: Looking Ahead!

badbanana07 — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 23:55:25 +0000

So my HEM is still busto and when I try to load it up, it says it can’t connect to something or other…basically my hands are unable to import, which is really frustrating. First PT3 and now HEM…are the people behind these softwares doing their job? Anyway, I ended up going into December with roughly $250k in cash game profits (not including bonuses), and closed out strong with ~$43k in winnings, making my total winnings on the year ~$293k. After $50-55k in bonuses, I ended up hitting my yearly goal for the second year in a row, so that’s always encouraging. I just wish I had a cool graph to tell the story of my year; pretty consistent throughout, but of course some rough stretches along the way. 2011 has started out similarly to 2010 (I’ve noticed a bizarre trend in which my months seem to emulate the year before): slow, frustrating, unable to get any sort of traction, losing as a statistical favorite consistently, getting zero action with the rare instances I have value hands, getting a ton of action when I have air or losing hands. It’s still very early and I know what I need to do, it’s nonetheless annoying during these instances. And of course, as with every new year, I try to look ahead with a positive outlook and set goals:

2011 GOALS:

-$500k/800k hnds
-Finalize house stuff
-Continue being the best husband, son, friend, and pet owner I can be
-Continue getting healthy and playing basketball consistently
-Enjoy quality time with friends

Short and simple, that’s all I can really think of for now.

2010 is winding down…

badbanana07 — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 01:50:24 +0000

Hey guys, time for a quick update. For some reason HEM has gone on strike for me and I’ve been trying like the devil to get it to import my latest hands from November, but to no avail. I need to get one of you computer whizzes over here to help my noob ass out. The month started out similar to October, but I definitely hit a wall around the mid-point of the month. It was very taxing and frustrating to be unable to dodge draws and coolers as they hit with remarkable consistency, and while my winnings tapered off a bit (I actually had a week or two stretch where I was literally trading sessions with wins/losses over and over…it got old really quick and I wonder how people manage to still play this game when they’ve been breaking even for two years+), I still managed to profit roughly $30.7k from the cash games, with a $4k bonus. The first week or so of December followed in similar suit, but one Friday afternoon session I managed to lose a whole batch of absurd hands, two of which my opponent was drawing to 1 out and I lost, two of which I was on the other end of an under-set situation but lost, and a few other get-it-in with the nuts and lose to draws for stacks types of scenarios. I decided to play through it, and surprisingly, I checked my results at the end of the session and I wound up profiting $5,900 once all the bizarreness stabilized. Not to get a big head about it or anything, but I gave myself a pat on the back for having the mental toughness to stick it out and not do what I see so many other players do when things don’t go their way: tilt, spew, play horrible. The poker gods must’ve seen that as one last test of will (for now at least, knock on wood!) that I managed to pass, and have thus rewarded me with a week of normality. Of course, when I think I am running normally, I tend to show some decent profits. December is shaping up to be a good finishing touch on what’s been a big year for me.
I’m so thankful for everyone in my life – my parents, my wife, sister, friends that give meaning to my life. I sincerely want the best for everyone and appreciate them for putting up with me when I stray from being the best person I can be. It’s mind blowing how fast and eventful this whole year has been, but what I feel right now is an inner calm about where I am in my life and who I share it with, and eagerly await what lies around the corner for us in 2011.
Lately I have a renewed interest in basketball, mostly due to Wesley incepting me at Danny’s birthday dinner, and I have to say, it’s refreshing to have something to look forward to after a long day on the grind. Whether it’s playing or watching the NBA on TV, it provides a nice balance in my life that I think I was lacking before. I instantly bought new basketball shorts, shirts, a ball, and shoes, of course…since I hadn’t gotten anything new for myself in about three years. I was still wearing the VC4′s (Vince Carter), symbolic of his high-flying days! (which are way past now). I am slowly getting back in shape and being more health-conscious. I signed some friends up to play in an adult rec league starting early January, so I’m definitely looking forward to that as well.
I hope everyone out there can count their blessings and be grateful for everything they have in their life, and I wish everyone the safest holiday season as 2010 draws to its conclusion.

Staying On Top

badbanana07 — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 00:59:36 +0000

I grew up completely obsessed over sports and the spirit of competition. I remember eagerly opening the Sports section of the newspaper every morning over my bowl of cereal to indulge in the stats, standings, articles of what was happening in the sports world. Players who were dominating obviously were receiving a lot of media attention, and icons such as Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Cal Ripken, Magic Johnson, and Larry Bird were considered my idols. When it came to playing baseball, football, or basketball (although the latter would eventually become my obsession and ultimately the source of my online moniker), I played as hard as I could to win always. I hated losing but loved the feeling of competing intensely, and failure to win would be a pretty upsetting experience for me. I played pool with my grandfather on the table we got for Christmas one year in our living room nearly every day, as well as my 5 card draw on our mahjong table. We would then watch the Bulls play at night, and celebrate or (rarely) grimace at every play. One thing about me I tend to have a very addictive personality. When I start developing an interest in something, it usually consumes every thought on my mind and I am completely immersed in all its facets.
The truth is, I unrealistically wanted to play in the MLB or the NBA as a kid. I didn’t know how difficult or downright impossible it was for someone like me, an average guy with average physical abilities of average height. Eventually I practiced enough basketball to become a pretty decent player, but I could’ve never competed at any level higher than high school. When I discovered poker, I immediately associated the same familiar feelings of competitiveness and strategy that I had with sports. As I started taking it more seriously and the friends who had introduced it to me slowly lost interest in the game, I realized how much I didn’t know, and how much work needed to be done to play at a high level.
The point of all this really just has to do with the title of this blog post: staying on top. My dad instilled in me the values of consistency and stability from a young age, so I never had any of these random degen urges that some players have to take huge shots in games they weren’t familiar with or engage in erratic play. My idol, Michael Jordan, absolutely dominated the league for well over a decade while he was playing, and continued his high level of play and intensity all the way to his retirement (the 2nd one, which I consider to be his real one), where he left on top. Then you look at some of these other players who have a good season or two, but slowly disappear from the spotlight. Their play becomes inconsistent, they get lazy during the offseason, or they allow the next guy to work hard enough to replace them in their starting role. The next thing you know, only a few years later, they end up warming the bench the entire game, disappearing into oblivion. Or, they are waived or not re-signed to another contract that would’ve guaranteed them millions had they simply put in the effort to stay on top of their game, and forced to declare bankruptcy or perhaps try and play overseas. As you could probably see where I’m going with all of this rambling, I see so many parallels with the game of poker and sports, and this is no exception. There are so many regs who supposedly play the game for a living, but they are barely putting in any volume, or go through stretches where they are jumping all over the place in limits in hopes of running hot in a game they aren’t rolled for. They get lazy and complacent with their game, which in turn becomes stagnant, and not surprisingly, they lapse behind and struggle to beat the ever-changing games of today. Then, some of them try to start training sites because they can’t make money from playing anymore!
I have little to no respect for the games of most “coaches” from training sites (with the exception of a select few obviously), or tournament players, or live pros. I hold those who take for granted their dream job of getting to play a game from home to make incredible money in less regard. How can players expect to stay a factor when they barely put any hands in? Nobody is good enough to magically develop their game and hone their craft while sitting idly on your ass or vacationing for extended periods of time. I am so thankful now for my parents drilling in my mind the importance of never becoming complacent, and for always wanting to strive for more, and remain consistent and steady at whatever I do. Though they never would have imagined their son to have chosen the path that he has, they still fully support me 100%.
I think 2008 was an eye-opening year for me, and I learned a lot. In 2009 I started really crushing the mid-stakes games, but this year I’ve developed a whole new set of tools for keeping up with the games of today. This doesn’t mean I’m patting myself on the back, and now it’s time to sit back and relax. I have much to look forward to in improving my game, and will continue to do so always.

Mr. October

badbanana07 — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 22:31:32 +0000

October’s results are officially in, and it was a doozy:

My new career high comes just two months after my previous one (45k August 2010), but unfortunately the month in between was also my career worst. I’m by no means putting my foot on the brake or becoming complacent in the least with this month. It was a good month, but there remains much work to be done. I’m going to continue to try and play my best and make the least mistakes for November and the rest of the year . I’ve become very comfortable with playing exclusively 5/10, as over 80% of my winnings for October came from roughly 50k hands at that level. I’ve started incorporating a few change-ups to my game, which I obviously won’t go into detail on here, but just know that I’ve been honing my ability to keep my ranges concealed and difficult to defend/attack. I feel like with coming off such a dismal month, it would have been easy for me to feel sorry for myself and sulk, and move down stakes to lick my wounds. Interestingly, when October 1st came about, I woke up that morning with a determination to make it count and rebound from my downfall of September. I decided to tackle tougher opposition at higher stakes, and thankfully things worked out for the month. I’m looking to wrap up the year on a strong note, so months like this one really help that cause. Good luck to everyone else out there grinding for November, and thanks for reading!

Roll With the Punches

badbanana07 — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 12:06:18 +0000

Hey all, quick update: it appears September is an annual downswing month for me, with this September being my absolute worst career month ever, and also marks my first losing month in well over a year. The final tally was a downtick of ~22k on the month following my best month ever, which was discouraging, but thankfully my resolve has strengthened over the millions of hands I’ve logged to the point where nothing really fazes or surprises me. I would say that the downswing began with me being on the wrong end of a ton of variance spots, and then followed by being unable to have any good opportunities where I can take pots down, and ultimately the slight hint of frustration and self-doubt started creeping in. Oddly enough as soon as October 1st’s session began, that all seemed a thing of the past, and as always I hate to jinx anything, but it’s been a heck of a start to this month. I find myself really tuned into the dynamics of each table and shrugging off tough hands very easily. I’ve already more than made up for last month’s poor showing and aim to continue pushing forward with playing well and making calculated, logic-based plays.

As the title suggests, if I’m winning 11/12 months on the year, you gotta roll with the punches, take the good with the bad, taking it all in stride, go with the flow, etc etc. Maybe next year I should just take September off completely

Ending the Summer On a Hot Note!

badbanana07 — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 14:03:10 +0000

Those of you who know me can attest that in the past, frustrations at $5/10 online have caused me to believe I was forever cursed at that level. Nothing went my way for the scattered 20k hands or so I put in; without going into detail it is your typical mix-up of runbad. I must be a glutton for punishment, because strangely enough, a week or two into August I found myself itching to go back and revisit this level of hell. Perhaps even stranger was that I won over a decent clip of hands, and while I ran well on the whole, it’s not like I had an invulnerability shield on by any means. I found that the regulars, as expected, are better, more knowledgeable, technically sound, aggressive, and overall tough, winning players. I love the sense of competition and I think it elevates me to play my best at all times lest I get eaten alive. $3/6 has been so loyal and steady for me over the past year and a half, but sometimes it gets to a point where I get tired of the nonsense that goes on there with people refusing me action to start up tables unless a fish sits, the annoying 40bb shortstackers that have seemed to found a new home with their infesting ways, regs constantly bumhunting and breaking up games…all of which have led to it being somewhat stale. Obviously I am not going to stop playing this limit (where I have logged well over 1M hands at this time of writing) by any means, but right now $5/10 has re-sparked a new level of interest in me. Here’s a breakdown of my August 2010 by levels:

And of course, the accompanying graph:

Not including a $3800 and $4000 bonus, turned out to be my best career month so far. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be doing what I do for a living, and I’m always going to be working harder than the guy next to me to stay on top of my game and ahead of the curve. A couple of weeks ago Yen, our friends and I took a weekend trip to Ocean City, which was an amazing time with great people. Special thanks to Joan Kim if you ever read this for masterminding the whole operation as usual, and for driving us. I can’t begin to tell you how much beer and alcohol was consumed, or how much food we ate, but just know that it was pretty ridiculous. Can’t wait to go back next year!

Looking ahead, obviously I’m hoping for another solid month in September while continuing to hopefully do well at $5/10. Pat, Peaches, Yen and I will be heading to Atlantic City this weekend for a much anticipated trip of degeneracy, and in two weeks, Pat and I will be meeting up Doug aka “Tech” Kim in the same place for the Borgata Open. Last year I busted somewhere around the middle of Day 2, so that was pretty disappointing. It’d be nice to do a little better this time around. Until then, thanks to everyone and anyone who reads this boring blog!

Mr. and Mrs. Wang

badbanana07 — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 04:45:52 +0000

We finally did it! The wedding night was absolutely phenomenal and even better than we had expected. The entire day had a surreal feel to it and I couldn’t stop smiling. I loved seeing my friends showing their support, family goes without saying, and my beautiful bride of course. It will go down as the best day in my life despite getting zero sleep and being preceded by a bit of stress to ensure everything would go smoothly and according to plan. My grandmother of 83 passed away the Friday before, a couple hours before our rehearsal dinner. I had just picked up Doug from the train station and we were eating lunch at Five Guys in Rockville Town Square when I got the call from my dad. She had been diagnosed as in the final stages of cancer a month or so ago and it was beyond devastating to me. I still think of her often and miss her wonderful spirit and kind heart. Since my parents were always working during my early years, she lived in our house with us and basically raised me until I was old enough to take care of myself. She’s taught me so much about values and morality and doing the right thing, and being sympathetic to others, even when it’s difficult to do so. As you might imagine it was a very difficult time for us to go through being that the wedding was the next day, but eventually I came to peace that she had finally found her resting place and is far better off now than she ever was. Her firm beliefs and spirituality defined her as a person, and even on her deathbed she maintained her usual cheery disposition. She told us not to worry about her, and that she was happy with where she was going. I never really had a chance to say it anywhere else since I didn’t mention it at the wedding during my speech and I don’t really believe in putting this kind of stuff in social media broadcasts, but here it is, on my private blog: Wai Po, I know the Lord has taken you home. Thank you for all you’ve helped me with when I least deserved it. May you rest in peace; I know we’ll come face to face again someday.

As expected, the night before the wedding was impossibly hectic from morning to the wee hours of the night trying to get everything in place. This resulted in about 2 hours of actual sleep, including my groomsmen, who slept over, and Doug, who slept in my bed <3. After the after-party in our suite upstairs (which, by the way, was pretty sick), close friends were heavily intoxicated and crashed in various corners of the room. We had an 8 AM flight to the Maldives to catch, which meant we had to be at the airport by 6 AM, which meant we would have to leave the hotel at around 4:30 AM, which basically meant to us pulling another all-nighter. I'd never felt so exhausted in my life, but it was a good kind of fatigue. Yen and I were one now, and our minds were at peace. Our friends had a blast, and to sum up the night into one word it would have to be: epic. You just had to be there. To the people who ended up not going, sorry to say this, but, you seriously missed out on the experience of a lifetime. Once we got to the Maldives, 24 hours and 3 transfers later, the first thing we did was pass out for several hours into a comatose state. The airport lost our luggage but we were so tired at that point it became an afterthought. Sleep first, belongings later. They ended up losing it for two days before it was express shipped to us, which was kind of annoying. As for the Four Seasons Resort we stayed at for seven days and seven nights, however, heaven on earth would not do its description justice. There are plenty of pictures on my FB that captured some of our finest moments. What better way to ring in our marriage by living like king and queen for a week in total seclusion, on a tropical beach with white sand and crystal clear water? Our villa was a water bungalow above water with every luxurious amenity you could fathom, including our own infinity pool overlooking the Indian Ocean. We ended up doing a ton of water excursions and of course eating awesome food every meal and overall just having the time of our lives.
Honestly, once I came back, I felt more ready to grind than ever. Living in serenity is nice, but what still makes me tick is what I do best. The competitiveness in me is like an urge I can't control, and I was eager to get back to the felt. August is my month of redemption since I was unable to play for half of July due to to wedding planning and honeymoon, and I'm looking to close out the summer on a hot note.

Mid-Year Update; Wedding!!

badbanana07 — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 04:32:30 +0000

Hey guys, it’s been an extremely hectic year for me with planning the big day and running massive errands as well as trying to get my daily grind in. Everyday I’m baffled by how people with real jobs ever get a wedding done, or how many people can’t drive to save their lives in this area, or why 495 is like the fucking Bermuda Triangle of highways. It’s inexplicably always congested and impossible to navigate since it’s bumper to bumper in every lane for tens of miles. Anyway, enough bitching. I have plenty to be grateful for. Poker has been great this year after a sluggish start, with June being no exception:

+$4k bonus

Here’s my graph of the year so far:

+$25-30k bonus; ~$7-10k live?

My goal for the year was $300k, and it appears I’m on pace to hit that mark.

On to something I’ve been looking forward to for over a year: I cannot believe the wedding is only a few days away. As you could imagine, we’re both very excited to take this step forward in our lives together, with no better way to celebrate than with our closest family and friends there with us. Moments as big as this in life are rare. Right after the reception, we’re leaving to catch an 8 AM flight the next morning for our week long honeymoon to the Maldives. It should be absolutely phenomenal and I’ll try to post a trip report about this whole thing later.